When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
