Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think my fart just growled at me.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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