i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
