I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize