i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
