i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
