Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize