we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
