Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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