the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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