good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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