that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
