She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
