Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
