even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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