I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
