Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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