would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
