Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
