How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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