he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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