the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
