I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
