I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
