I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
