Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
