I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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