i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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