remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she woke up with a sticky ear
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
