his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
