I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
