yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
