Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
