Swine flu. Run for my life!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
