In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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