If that was your dad, he is hot
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
