SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
