I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
