Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
