I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think my moral compass just broke
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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