Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
