State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
