Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize