I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
