Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize