I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I have fence marks all over my body
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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