me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
