I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
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