he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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