bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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