She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
