To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
