he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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