...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
