I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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