So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
