seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
