Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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