i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
