omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
