I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Randomize
