Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize